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  • Carmen Finn

Walking down the aisle alone and ditching the "who gives this woman away" - a 2020 perspective

It’s a modern world - times have changed and it is now perfectly acceptable to walk down the aisle alone, or completely opt out of the “who gives this bride away” for whatever reason. More and more couples are opting to buck tradition, now doing their own thing that aligns with their values or choosing to do something that is merely more suited to their situation.



But still, being given away is a dated, archaic tradition which over time ages disgracefully. So how can you drop the old fashioned term yet still incorporate your family? Fear not! I have a tried and tested solution, which kept everyone happy.

Back when I got married in December 2019, I was very against being given away and wanted to walk down the aisle alone as I had my mother, grandmother and grandfather all wanting to all walk me down the aisle; which was not practical for a small wedding of 40. So after hours pouring over google, wedding forums and pinterest boards I finally had the solution – a moment to acknowledge both of our parents and for my family to “bless” our marriage (with a twist, no less). We wanted the chance to acknowledge those who had raised us, guided us, mentored us in our wedding ceremony – not just from both sets of parents of a bride and groom, but for all our parents, as we are both apart of a blended family and our step parents regardless needed that acknowledgement just as much as well. See below a snippet from what our celebrant read out before we got into the nitty gritty of saying “I Do”:

“Kerry and Carmen would like to recognize their parents, Judi, Dot, Bob, Robyn and Bryan on this occasion. They offer their profound gratitude for all the love and care their parents showed in raising them. The unconditional gifts of love support and advice that you have continually offered have inspired them to become who they are today. Without you, this day would not be possible.
I have never met a family who was willing to give up their daughter/granddaughter; so instead I ask – do I have your blessing for this marriage.”

My mum, nan and pop "blessing" my marriage

There you have it! Initially, my family was not on board with me walking down the aisle alone (mostly my nan, because tradition), but when I included this section in the nuptials, they were elated. Feel free to use this and chop and change it as you need to make it uniquely yours.

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